The phone rings and the school nurse reminds me that one of my kids "needs his shots."
Being familiar with the process, I simply answer: "Ok, please send me the personal waiver form so that I may sign it and return it to you."
As I hang up the phone, I - as I have many times for the past 18 years - mentally thank the doctor who told me years ago that "no matter how authoritative and mandatory the whole vaccine lingo is, all you have to do is sign a personal waiver." Which basically is a fancy and legal way of saying "No, thank you."
I am not writing this to influence anyone on their choice of vaccination or non vaccination. Not at all.
I am writing this because I want to shout loudly and to anyone who wants to hear that sometimes, all it takes is saying "No Thanks."
No need to explain why, a simple "No Thanks" is often enough.
Monday, November 30, 2009
The First Time I Saw Her
Costa points out a spot, in the corner of an orange room in a big beautiful store and says to me:
"This is where she was, the first time I saw her."
My boy sure loves his guitar.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
School
I believe we are all born with a different curriculum.
So, we attract different teachers and different textbooks.
Some courses are harder than others and sometimes, we need to study all night long just to barely pass.
But when the recess bell rings ... it's time to look up at the sun and go play!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Homing Instinct
"The homing instinct is an innate directional positioning that points to where you know you belong."
Yep.
Yep.
In Times of Trouble
I sit today with an uncomfortable new awareness. Uncomfortable because - as is often the case with any important new awareness, I wish I had had it ... before.
But I didn't.
And so, in the last few weeks, as my life became a whirlwind of emotions, challenges and fears, I "did" a lot. Faced with something intensely difficult, I took action. I made appointments, I asked for support and I talked with people. I rushed things.
The support I received helped me feel loved. And validated. It all came with much warmth and because I have awesome, smart friends, it all felt really good.
That more sitting with ME would have served me and mine in a truer way.
Sitting with the "not knowing" would have allowed me to eventually hear my own voice, to speak my own words. The "not knowing" that is so damn uncomfortable.
So, I live with this new piece about myself. And I let it settle within me, find its new home so that I may use it in my own life as well as the lives of my clients.
But I didn't.
And so, in the last few weeks, as my life became a whirlwind of emotions, challenges and fears, I "did" a lot. Faced with something intensely difficult, I took action. I made appointments, I asked for support and I talked with people. I rushed things.
The support I received helped me feel loved. And validated. It all came with much warmth and because I have awesome, smart friends, it all felt really good.
But today, I sit with the knowledge that less movement may have been better.
That more sitting with ME would have served me and mine in a truer way.
Sitting with the "not knowing" would have allowed me to eventually hear my own voice, to speak my own words. The "not knowing" that is so damn uncomfortable.
So, I live with this new piece about myself. And I let it settle within me, find its new home so that I may use it in my own life as well as the lives of my clients.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Cato Was Born.
Just a few words on my screen let me know that a new little person is amongst us.
Why would this cause me to cry?
I guess it is just the wonderment, the beauty, the hope fulfilled and the reminder that life simply goes on.
Why would this cause me to cry?
I guess it is just the wonderment, the beauty, the hope fulfilled and the reminder that life simply goes on.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Conversation starter...
From Becky Blanton who will be my guest on Dec 8:
From Becky Blanton: I think it's an attitude. I meet a lot of people who live in their cars so they can surf, climb, camp or whatever. Being in our 20's and 30's and being footloose and free is "okay," - like traveling cross country after college to "see the country" is an adventure. Doing it in your 50's to "find a job" is being homeless. Why? We define ourselves and I think that's important for people to realize - that THEY control their reality. If you are laid off and think, "Oh my god, I'm unemployed and have no income, I'm going to lose my home, my car....etc." and you panic - then you become "homeless." But if you are laid off and think, "Wow, not what I want to have happened, but now I've got other options - what are they? How will I define myself now? What do I want to DO now?" Then you take control of your circumstances. I think attitude is everything and that's the point I want to make. Not everyone will get it....but it will be interesting!!
From Becky Blanton: I think it's an attitude. I meet a lot of people who live in their cars so they can surf, climb, camp or whatever. Being in our 20's and 30's and being footloose and free is "okay," - like traveling cross country after college to "see the country" is an adventure. Doing it in your 50's to "find a job" is being homeless. Why? We define ourselves and I think that's important for people to realize - that THEY control their reality. If you are laid off and think, "Oh my god, I'm unemployed and have no income, I'm going to lose my home, my car....etc." and you panic - then you become "homeless." But if you are laid off and think, "Wow, not what I want to have happened, but now I've got other options - what are they? How will I define myself now? What do I want to DO now?" Then you take control of your circumstances. I think attitude is everything and that's the point I want to make. Not everyone will get it....but it will be interesting!!
Sixty Some Days
My daughter "goes back to her Dad's this weekend."
A decade later, these words still jolt me.
A couple of years ago, she decided that she no longer wanted to do this every other week thing and she switched to an every two months schedule. The truth is, I cannot begin to know what it's like to switch home every other week. As much as I have strived and mostly succeeded to free my life from guilt in general, this one still tugs at me.
But I digress.
She is going back to her Dad's this weekend.
And coming back in two months.
And leaving again two months later.
Possibly for good.
She is a senior and has made it clear that she wants to move away (as in Europe kind of away) not too long after graduation.
Which I understand and support.
But this, technically, leaves only Sixty Some Days of ... the way things are.
Sixty Some Days of her unbelievably messy bedroom (no matter how many times she cleans it) and her borrowing my makeup (or me hers) and her creative baking and ... well ... her.
And I know, somewhere in a wise part of me that she and I are just turning a page and that there are many more for us to write together. I look forward to her being an adult with me and I look forward to watching her spread her wings and fly and try on new things and (eventually) maybe even make a couple of babies for me to kiss and hold and smell.
But today, I am feeling a sense of loss.
A decade later, these words still jolt me.
A couple of years ago, she decided that she no longer wanted to do this every other week thing and she switched to an every two months schedule. The truth is, I cannot begin to know what it's like to switch home every other week. As much as I have strived and mostly succeeded to free my life from guilt in general, this one still tugs at me.
But I digress.
She is going back to her Dad's this weekend.
And coming back in two months.
And leaving again two months later.
Possibly for good.
She is a senior and has made it clear that she wants to move away (as in Europe kind of away) not too long after graduation.
Which I understand and support.
But this, technically, leaves only Sixty Some Days of ... the way things are.
Sixty Some Days of her unbelievably messy bedroom (no matter how many times she cleans it) and her borrowing my makeup (or me hers) and her creative baking and ... well ... her.
And I know, somewhere in a wise part of me that she and I are just turning a page and that there are many more for us to write together. I look forward to her being an adult with me and I look forward to watching her spread her wings and fly and try on new things and (eventually) maybe even make a couple of babies for me to kiss and hold and smell.
But today, I am feeling a sense of loss.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Kids
My client is about to give birth at home to her fourth child.
Her oldest boy has questions.
The most recurring one being: "What am I going to eat that day?"
Her oldest boy has questions.
The most recurring one being: "What am I going to eat that day?"
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Maya's Wisdom
My friend Rebecca reminded me of this timeless gem.
Thank you ♥
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.....
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it....
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...
Thank you ♥
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.....
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it....
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
S#*t Happens.
This morning, as I am about to leave, I notice an unsightly brown streak on the cream colored living room rug. I get closer, I bend, down, I take a sniff.
Yep, dog poop.
Not much dog poop, mind you.
Just the little bit that happens when a dog rubs her butt on the floor after ... ok, well, you know.
So, I walk over to the kitchen, grab a paper towel and a spray bottle. Wipe the stain off. Walk back to the kitchen and think to myself how easy that was. And also how easy it is for us to sometimes think these little things are a big deal.
Most of the time, they are not a big deal at all. Only the stories we tell ourselves about them make them big deal.
S#*t happens.
Yep, dog poop.
Not much dog poop, mind you.
Just the little bit that happens when a dog rubs her butt on the floor after ... ok, well, you know.
So, I walk over to the kitchen, grab a paper towel and a spray bottle. Wipe the stain off. Walk back to the kitchen and think to myself how easy that was. And also how easy it is for us to sometimes think these little things are a big deal.
Most of the time, they are not a big deal at all. Only the stories we tell ourselves about them make them big deal.
S#*t happens.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Baseline
My "happy" baseline is high enough that I sometimes do not notice when I am dipping down.
I am pretty sure that this is a blessing - yet one to get to know closely.
I am pretty sure that this is a blessing - yet one to get to know closely.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)