It seems that this whole expanse of hours before my kids wake up and I am making raspberry smoothies would be a great time to write.
Roxy is snoring, all the sweet humans that make up my home tonight are asleep and only the humming of the refrigerator sounds "active."
I am awake. The kind of awake that feels as though I will never sleep again.
And yet... not awake enough to be truly functional. A weird kind of awake. A new kind for me.
My efficient mind is frustrated as I know that I am borrowing alert time from tomorrow while not "producing" anything in its place.
I think of a client of mine, years ago, who used to battle this ongoing insomnia.
She was a technical writer and I remember thinking how perfect this could be as she could write in peace through the night. It all seemed slightly romantic to me and it took quite a few words for her to pass on to me what a handicap this really was.
I think I get it.
So what is the gift of these hours that stretch ahead of me while I find myself in a semi alert and yet pretty altered state?
Should I set up my easel and start painting?
Take a bath?
Rearrange the living room?
Watch a couple of TED videos?
Do some yoga?
Bake a batch of scones?
Or lay in bed and allow my mind to do whatever it wants, for a rare moment of complete non-effectiveness?
There's a Sheng Zhen Qigong meditation called 9 Turns that helps with this. I can show you if you want.
ReplyDeleteBUT, if you had practiced 9 Turns and fallen back asleep, perhaps your other blog entry with that wonderful story would not have been written!