Timing.

This morning, I think back about a particular speaking engagement.

It was a big one. A room full of counselors and a whole day of training/sharing/questioning/exploring with many brilliant minds who have been "in the field" for decades.

At the end of the day, as I often do, I asked them to fill out an evaluation form.

A few minutes after leaving the event (I have not yet learned to wait until the next day as most speakers do), I am in the car, reviewing the forms.

Out of 30 forms, 28 are ecstatic. They feel that their day was well spent, that they have gained new and important tools and that they are looking forward to us spending more time together in the future as well as to spreading the wealth of what they have learned with their own clients.

One form is ambivalent, not convinced that this was what she was looking for at this time.

One form is unhappy. The material was too general.

I am crushed.

I am crushed and just like that - very possibly because I am tired and have very little resources left - I take it in way deep inside of me.

I allow it to fade the other words of praise. It becomes mostly all I remember about this presentation. 

The "big girl" part of me knows that I cannot reach every person in the audience; it knows that even if I make a big difference in only one person's life, my days was well spent. A part of me knows to remain in my own business and trust others to navigate theirs.

The "business person" in me wants to know more, to improve. What could I have done better? After all, this is why I ask for those evaluations.

And the tired part of me wants to cry. Very specifically because I am tired. 

From now on, I will take the advice of generations of well seasoned speakers and wait. 

Timing is huge.