"La Tete Sous le Robinet" WTF?????

A few days ago, on a walk, Chris and I arrived at a beautiful spot on one of our favorite beaches. 

We walked to the end of the pier and Chris decided to pick me up and lift me onto the rail. 

As he explained (much) later, "he had a vision." 

My guess is that he wanted for us to enjoy this moment fully and liked the idea of holding me close while we watched the view. Being about a foot and a half taller than I am, this would look something like that famous romantic Titanic scene. 

I would have none of it. 

As soon as my feet left the ground, I asked him to put me down. Intent on savoring the moment, he did not hear me fully. I asked again and he again did not hear me fully. The third time, I demanded. By the fourth time, I am a little embarrassed to say that I kicked him out of my way. Heart racing, I screamed past him and ran down the pier, stopping only when I was very far away. 

I knew my reaction was strange and somewhat extreme and yet it was not unfamiliar. Several times, in the past, I had found myself in a similar panic. 

I always reasoned that "he had a control issue" and just had to use his big body in an effort to overpower mine. 

Last night, as we were falling asleep, an image came back to me. Along with a sentence. A French sentence. 

"La Tete Sous le Robinet." 

This translates, roughly to "The Head Under the Faucet."

And it refers to a practice (apparently not hugely uncommon in France) of calming an hysterical child by picking her up and forcing her head under a faucet of cold water. 

From what I now remember my mom saying, it works great. 

From what I am guessing, it should: the kid goes into shock, quits crying as he or she becomes more invested in survival, quiet returns and everyone is happy. 

Until forty years later when being picked off the ground triggers similar survival mechanisms. 

So here I am today. Outraged, shocked, embarrassed and a little enlightened. 

I understand better why, when my daughter was three days old and her dad picked her up gently to wash her under the kitchen faucet, I panicked. Why, until this morning, I still resented him for what I somehow perceived as abusive behavior. That was 16 years ago. 

There is more I could say about this, including the fact that even today, knowing why my reaction was so strong, I still feel that it is important for people (esp. people with larger bodies) to pay attention to other people's requests about their own bodies. This is how safety is created and fostered and as Al Turtle wisely says "Safety is the number one need in human relationships."

But I am still too triggered. 

So I will simply hit "send."