You know?

You know that feeling you get when you are walking out of the hairdresser's and you CAN'T wait to be alone with a mirror? Yes, that one.

A BIG whiff of us!

I am going to take my kids and lock us all in our car for a week. Driving is almost optional but South is always a good way to go. 

I want some some laughing, some singing and even a little arguing. 

I want to breathe in a BIG whiff of that essence of us before life starts moving really fast.

Al's Partnership Vows.

During the course of the last episode of our seven-week "Relationship Wisdom Series," Al  mentioned to notion of "mini marriage vows." It was his contribution to my idea of "setting the intent" for a specific situation, maybe a potentially challenging discussion that needs to take place or  - in the case of Chris and me - ... a full day of shared creative work ahead of us. 


On that note, Al told me that he had just written a "Partnership  Vow" - inspired by his work.


Here it is.


(can you find the pieces that made the Relationship Wisdom Series so powerful: Safety, Reliable Membership, Diversity, Autonomy and Purpose?)


I really like it. 


***


I, John to take you Amy to be my partner on this journey of life.  I commit to grow and learn until I know how to create safety/trust for us both and recover it when it is lost. I guarantee I will get there with you.

I commit to your needs for space - even from me. I will continue to work so that whenever you need a break from anyone or from me, I will help you get it.  I also commit myself to your connection needs. I will continue to work so that even when we are apart you will be able to trust that I will come back to you.  I will grow/learn until we create a reliable partnership that supplies both our needs for connection.  I guarantee I will get there with you.

I commit myself to your needs to be different and to sharing your differing ways of seeing and valuing everything.  I will continue to work until we both feel safely connected in a space where we treasure how different we are and will always be. I guarantee I will get there with you.

I commit myself to your need to always make your own choices for yourself, your body, your property, your thoughts, your emotions, your time and your worth. I will continue to work until both of us experience full respect from each other. I guarantee I will get there with you.

And I commit myself to being a partner in nurturing your soul, its purpose, and its journey on this earth.  I will continue to work to help make this world a better place for us both having been in it, together and separately. I guarantee I will get there with you.

I commit myself to building and recovering love with you for the rest of our lives. I guarantee I will get there with you.  I will do my best.

Clean.

Yesterday morning, I watched my son walk away from the car, guitar in hand. He was heading out to the 5 minute ferry that would take him to another island for part of the day. There, he would play his guitar for passersby and - as it turns out - come home with a good chunk of cash.

Last night, I asked him if he ever felt self-conscious about performing in front of people (he has only been playing for less than a year and is not yet 12 years old). He asked me what "self-conscious" meant.

I reached inside my brain for an equivalent term that would be familiar to him. "Embarrassed. Do you ever feel embarrassed?"

He seemed confused. "I am playing music. What's embarrassing about that?"

Ok. I get it.

But I still wonder.

So I try again: "Funny. Does it ever feel funny to you to play while people watch?"

So he says - still looking confused: "I go there so people WILL watch me play. So why would I feel funny?"

Purrrrtty Clean.